Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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