I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Randomize
