he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
