I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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