I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
