dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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