maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
