She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
