the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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