On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize