im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
