Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
