I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
