I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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