CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
