if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
