Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
