Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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