Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
