im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
