This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
