She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
