I cockslap morals
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
