Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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