I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
