he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
