I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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