If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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