you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
