How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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