I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
