So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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