His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize