She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
