Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
