He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
