No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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