Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
