started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
