Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize