dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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