There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
