But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
