THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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