Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
