I love black thongs
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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