its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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