this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
