Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize