Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
