we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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