I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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