She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
