Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize