Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He kissed a someone with a penis
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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