Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
