she takes plan B like it's going out of style
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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