haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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