Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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