So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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