I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
