She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
