So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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