***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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